Life of a Victor
by Larsiepan
Summary: Effie told me I had to find the life of a Victor. I think I found it. I have almost all my friends near me. But not everyone has found their life of a Victor. They are going through some dark times. Peace after all is not what they thought it would be
1. Happy again

_After a couple of years I was different. Peeta and I were different. I found peace. I found happiness. Effie told me I had to find the life of a Victor. I think I found it. I'm so happy my boy is back. Sometimes, he still has episodes and I, nightmares but we can live with it. Annie didn't change at all. She's still unstable. But her little boy, son of Finnick, is a good therapy for her. He keeps her busy. Luckily, my mom is in District 4. She helps Annie with Jack. I haven't seen her since our time in the Capitol. She didn't even come by before Haymitch and I took off to District 12. Or at least, what was left of it. We are still in touch, though. But since Peeta reopend the bakery and she can't come to me because it's too painful for her, we are calling each other a lot. Mom says it's very warm and sunny in District 4. Peeta and I are planning to go soon. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm still in touch with Effie. She has come to District 12 more than I can count. I think she's in love with Haymitch. He says he isn't but I don't believe that for a second. My old mentor says Effie comes to 12 so much is because she doesn't feel very well. She has a sort of a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's because of her dead Tributes from the past years. And of course because of all the casualties. Speaking of love…When I was checking my mail a couple of days ago, I found an invitation for a wedding. Cressida and Gale are going to marry. I am happy for Gale. For Cressida too of course. He worked in District 2 for a couple of months but he's living in the Capitol now. He is Head of Security for Paylor. I never thought he would go into that place. Not after all what happened there. I think he moved to the Capitol because of Cressida. And then there is Johanna. We've never been close friends. But we grew together during the years. She showed up a couple of months ago and asked if she could sleep in our house for a while. I don't know why, but sometimes I'm glad she's here. She can be very rude to everyone, but sometimes you see the true Johanna. The Johanna that's kind and can listen very well. She has a lot of nightmares too. She's so afraid during the night. She is just like Haymitch. She seems so fragile. I can finally say I found my freedom as I'm watching my friends laughing and having dinner in the garden. Next to me are Peeta and Effie. Johanna and Haymitch are right in front of me_.

"Are you going to Gale's wedding?" asked Effie. "Yeah, I think so." I answered with my mouth full of french fries. Effie's face was hilarious. I can see her think "What about manners?". Some things never change. It looks like Haymitch has the same thought. "Maybe we can all go together?" proposed Peeta. "That sounds great!" said Effie enthusiastic. "Yep, let's have fun." murmured Johanna. "What did you say?" asked Effie. "Nothing. Maybe we can stay in a hotel in the Capitol during our visit?" she said. Peeta and Effie were all very excited about it. I am not really. I don't want to spend as much time in the Capitol as they want. I can't believe Peeta wants to go there too. It reminds me too much of Prim. And Finnick. Boggs. Jackson. Castor. Messala. A couple of hours later Johanna decided to take a walk trough our District. Haymitch and Effie were going home. Peeta and I were watching the sunset. "I love the sunset." he said dreamly. "I know." I answered. So we sat there. We were dead quiet. The only thing you could here were the birds and other small animals. We were observing our garden and the woods behind it until it was dark outside. "Let's go inside, shall we?" asked Peeta. I nodded. Once inside I made some tea. We both love a cup of it before bedtime. Peeta put two sugarcubes into my cup. Once, a couple of weeks before the famous Quarter Quell, I put sugar in his tea. He didn't know I did that. I didn't know he was going to vomit because of it. The good old times. We've been trough a lot then, but nothing compared to now. We sat together on the couch. I laid my head on his shoulder. We didn't even notice Johanna, who came in. It was only when she poked me I knew she was back. She also took a cup of tea. With some liquor in, I believe. Again, we were all very quiet. I enjoy moments like these. Peeta even felt asleep. He is so cute when he sleeps. Sometimes I watch him sleeping. Sounds pretty crazy. I dozed off too. But everyone was suddenly awake when Effie stormed in. She was only wearing a peignoir. No wig, no make up. She was even barefoot. It was also 3 o'clock in the morning. We all fell asleep. "What's wrong?" asked Peeta sleepily. "Annie didn't call you?" asked Effie a bit nervous. "She probably did but we didn't hear!" says Johanna. She sounds very worried. I am too. I think we all are. "She's in the Capitol. Your mom is there too, Katniss." "What are they doing there, Effie?" I ask anxious. "Something is wrong with Jack." said Haymitch who just came in, fully dressed. "What? We need to go now!" screams Peeta in panic. "Calm, my boy," said Effie. "We can't leave now. Train is leaving in 3 hours." "But we need to start packing!" He objected. "He's right." says Johanna. "We need to promise something," I say. "What?" asked Haymitch. "We need to be strong. Whatever happens with Jack, we can't break. Annie wouldn't handle it."

So this is it! My first chapter. I'm keeping the chapters short, but I'll update quickly. If you have any questions/idead/suggestions you can always send me a PM! I'd would be very nice to review! Thanks!


	2. Ten times

**We can tell each other secrets and remember how to love**

"Ready to leave, Katniss?" asked Peeta from downstairs. "Yeah, I'm coming!" I answered frustrated. I can't find the present I had bought for Jack. I bought him a little bear with a trident but we haven't actually seen Annie and her son. He's only 5 months old. "Katniss! We need to go now! Train is leaving in twenty minutes!" shouted Effie. _She is probably very nervous. She always is. It reminds me of our Victory Tour. When we were about to leave District 5, Haymitch got stuck in the elevator in the Justice Building. The mayor told him not to use it because they were having lots of problems with it. But of course Haymitch did not listen, he was drunk once again. Effie was hysterical. She nearly fainted. We had a delay of "five freaking hours". That's how she said it. Peeta and I had for the first time in months a bit of fun and we could forget our problems. But only for a brief moment. Finally! I found it! The little bear._

"Kaaaaatniss!" shouted Effie. "Shut up, please." I heard Johanna saying. She sounded pretty annoyed. "I'm here." I said when I entered the living room. "Well, finally!" said Effie. She and Johanna were both looking very angry. Didn't surprise me at all. Johanna is angry with me most of the time and Effie is all about her schedule. "What were you looking for, sweetheart?" asked Haymitch curious to break the ice. I showed him the teddy bear. "A present, for little Jack."

About fourty minutes later, the train was already far away from our home District. We were all sitting in the last car of the train, where we can see whole Panem. And Panem us. Johanna and Effie both calmed down. I think we were all on our nerves because of the bad news. They even apologized to each other. We are on the same train that brought us to the Capitol and the Districts. It feels like we are going back to an "epic Hunger Games". That's how Caeser Flickerman would have said it. And I believe Peeta feels the same way. "Are you alright?" I asked Peeta. " I am worried about Annie and Jack. I hope they are alright!" "They will be. I promise." said Haymitch. He was sober again. He's more sober these past few weeks than he has been in his whole life. The thought alone scares me. Effie and Haymitch… a couple. Who would have thought that? "Peeta, I am going to get some sandwiches. Are you coming with me?" I want to be alone with him. "Sure." he said. He understood my message. " What's going on?" asked Peeta when we were alone. "I just…" I started. "I wanted to be with you. Alone. For a few minutes." He nodded. He opened his arms and I walked right into them. A hug. That's exactly what I needed after what we heard about Finnick's son. "I think the situation with Jack is really bad." He said into my ear. "You think so?" I whispered surprised. He pulled away from our hug and he leaned against the wall in the small corridor. "Annie and I called a lot. A couple of weeks ago she said that he didn't want to eat. He also had a light fever but your mom said it was normal. It seems like the situation got bad.," said Peeta. "I didn't know you were having contact with here." I said surprised. "I told you," he said sad. "You aren't paying attention to what I say or do." That took me aback. "I'm sorry." I said quietly. "It's okay. Come on… let's get those tasty sandwiches." I took his hand and we both walked to the dinner car. "By the way," he said. "Did you notice Effie and Haymitch?" I nodded. "Yeah, love is weird." I remember Johanna said that in the Quarter Quell, right after the Jabberjays. "It is disgusting." He said with a big smile on his face. I kissed him right on his mouth.

"Excuse me but where can I find Jack Odair please?" asked Gale to the nurse. "Jack Odair, you say? I am sorry but only his family is allowed to visit him." "We are actually looking for his mother, Annie Cresta." I assured him. "Oh, well you can find her in room 451." said the nurse. "Thank you very much." I said polite. "Would it be coincidence?" Gale asked me. "What?" I asked. I don't understand it. "The number… 451?" I nodded. "Of course, Gale." Gale and I both walked down the corridor. I hate hospitals. And especially where the little kids are. There are lots of people down here. Mostly parents, but also grandparents. It's because there is epidemic going on in the Capitol. Luckily only kids get affected. I don't know if you can say luckily because most of the kids are dying. To make sure Jack will not get that deadly virus, he is laid in a special room. Annie told me that on the phone. After a couple of minutes we finally arrived at room 451. Annie is nowhere to be seen. I wanted to take my phone out of my bag until I hear someone scream my name. Surprised I turned around and there was Annie. "Cressida," she said. "I am so glad you're here!" she said. We hugged briefly and Gale kissed her on the cheek. What a gentleman. "How is Jack?" he asked. "His situation got better. He isn't on intensive care anymore. They still don't know what's wrong though." "I know he will get better soon. How are you doing by the way? You look very tired!" I said concerned. "Yeah, I am. I didn't see a bed for 3 days now. I tried to sleep on a little chair in this corridor but it's so loud here." She said. "Why don't you stay with us and sleep for a while?" I offered. She didn't want to. But when I promised to stay with him and to call her when there is news, she agreed. The nurse allowed me to go in his room. Only for a little bit of course but I am glad I could see him. It is like a little Finnick is laying in that bed. I feel a teardrop coming down my face. But I have to be strong. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart. Finnick said that to Katniss in the bunker. I was not supposed to here their conversation but I only sat a few beds away. That little sentence helped me a lot during our battle in the Capitol a few years ago. And I feel like it will need to help me more in the next days.

 **This was chapter 2! I hope you enjoyed it!**

 **Thanks HogwartsRebel for your reaction and your correction of the chapters!**

 **Please hit the button below, write something down about this chapter! Reviews are really lovely to read. I'll answer them** **ALL!**


	3. Stars in the Capitol

_The next morning I felt like I didn't sleep at all. I had two nightmares. After the last one I decided to stay awake. At 10 o'clock we were only 100 miles away from the Capitol. Effie knocked on my door and said it was only a matter of time before we reach the city. This train goes too slow. I want to be there now. I can't do anything here but sleep and eat. Two things I love but I want, no, I need to be with Annie. She needs me. Or at least, I think so. I hope she doesn't shut herself down after a while. I believe she wouldn't because she needs to be there for Jack but you never know with damaged people. I shut myself down too after Primrose. It's easy. I know what it's like to lose someone you love but I've learned that it's not the best solution. We all learned that. No, I was wrong. She doesn't need me if she would lose Jack. She needs us. She lost her family, but we are her family now._

"Katniss? Can I come in?" asked Johanna from outside. "No." I answered short. I don't need company now to cheer me up, especially not hers. "I have croissants and hot chocolate with me." She offered. I haven't left my room yet. I didn't even go to breakfast. Her offer is tempting… and I love hot chocolate. "Alright, come in." I accepted her suggestion. She entered my room without any of the promising things, not even a liitle croissant "Hey, where is my food? " I asked a bit angry. "In the dinner car. After all these years you should know by now it's there. I'm not your slave, brainless." snapped Johanna. "I thought you were kind for once and really brought me some hot chocolate." I confessed. "Well, that's a shame for you,' she answered. "Nice room you have. And so big. My room is a bit smaller. Well actually, a lot smaller." Ugh. I don't need someone who is complaining about a fucking room. "Yeah. That's the biggest issue in this damn world." I answered. "Why are you here anyway? Did you lose something here?" I tried to get her out of my room. Without any success. "I wanted…" she said. "I wanted to talk with you." I'm a bit surprised. The bitch from Seven, who actually hates me, wanted to talk with me. "About what?" I asked. "I wanted to thank you." She answered quietly. What the hell is this about? Johanna Mason wants to thank me. "Oh my god, call the newspapers!" I said. "Why?" She asked. She clearly didn't understand why I said that. "A miracle happened! Johanna Mason wants thank me." I tried to say it seriously but I couldn't stop the laugh. "Okay, fine!" she shouted angrily. "You know what? Never mind!" She got up from her chair and ran away from my excuses towards her . As soon as she left, Haymitch and Peeta came in. "What was that about?" asked Haymitch. "None of your bussiness." I answered frustrated. I didn't want this. I really set her up. "I am sorry for asking," he answered. "Are you ready? In five minutes, we will arrive in the Capitol." I nodded. "There will be a of people out there. They all want a glimpse of the Victors arriving in the Capitol to support a co-Victor." I nodded again. "I thought so." I answered. There is something more. I see Peeta struggling with it. "What?" I asked him. "We are asked to be special guests in Caeser's show." He confessed. Oh hell to the no. "Not a chance. I'll not appear in one of his stupid freaking shows." Haymitch sighed and muttered "I'll tell Effie to cancel the show."

About ten minutes later, the doors of the train slid open. We are finally in the Capitol. It feels weird to arrive again in this shiny, white station. Everyone is looking fabulous like ever. I mean, they think they look fabulous. But above all, they all look ridiculous. And they are all shouting our names. Especially Peeta and mine. We are still the star-crossed lovers in their eyes. Stupid fickles. There are a lot of kids in the crowd. But also older people. Everyone loves us. We all take some photographs with our 'biggest' fans, they all want to meet us. _The Victors are the true stars of the Capitol. They are more popular than ever. They saved us. They saved Panem. The Mockingjay and her soldiers are true heroes._ Those were the headtitles in some newspapers. I don't agree with them. We weren't heroers. We were forced to be. First we were pawns in Snow's game and then in Coin's. Our lives were never ours. Peeta told me that in Tigris'basement. He was right. And I believe the game still isn't over in the Capitol. We were part of a show and we will always be.

"Cressida? What are you doing here?" asked Peeta suprised when we entered Jack's room. Cressida seems as surprised to see us as we are to see her. "Where's Annie?" I asked her a bit worried. "Nothing to worry about. She is sleeping at my house. I promised to stay guard for a while," she answered. "She'll be here soon." I came over to Cressida to give her a big hug. "I've missed you." I confessed. "Me too." She said. "How is he?" Peeta asked. I believe he's happy to see him. "He got better over the couple of hours. He has almost no fever anymore. But they still don't know what he has" she answered. "Oh." is the only thing Johanna had said so far. "Are you alright?" I asked her. She didn't answer. Of course not. "Guys?" I heard someone say from behind me. I turned around to see Annie with a big smile on her face, although her eyes are pretty sad. "Oh, I am so glad to see you all." She kissed everyone on the cheek and gave Peeta a hug. "You look better." said Cressida to Annie. "I do. I slept for almost 12 hours. And your husband is so sweet. If I needed to something, he immediately brought it. Such a gentleman." "Hi." said a voice which I could still recongize after 50 years. Gale. I turn around again and there he is: my old hunting partner. He didn't change that much. Although he isn't as fit as he was before and he has a little beard now. I don't know what to say. I thought I would be able to act normal in front of him after all these years. But it seems like I was wrong. "Hi Catnip." he said again. " I… I am sorry. I can't do this." I muttered and I ran out of the room where the tears started to come down my face. All those memories and emotions are coming back. Prim. The Bombs, designed by Beetee and Gale. The conversation between Snow and I. "Katniss?" I heard someone say. "Katniss, are you alright?" Mom is standing right in front of me.

 **So this was it. Chapter 3. Exams started today so I don't know if I'll update before Monday. If you have ideas/suggestions/questions you can always PM me! Thanks to JohannaD7 for her review! And special thanks to HogwartsRebel for checking my story on spelling mistakes! I'd love to hear what you think about this story so far, so please hit the review button! I love you**


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